just come out here and I will go home with you...
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
