I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
