I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
