Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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