He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
