ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
