oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
