the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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