so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?