Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
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Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
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Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.