he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Even my vagina gasped.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I need to calm my uterus...
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants