I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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