You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
