Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
