my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize