6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
