You're so nebulous sometimes
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
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She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
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I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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