So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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