I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize