dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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