If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
