I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
