If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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