He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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