this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
