and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major