you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!