I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old