sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Randomize
