She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair