thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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