oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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