By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Randomize
