The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
