Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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