We're facebook friends in real life
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize