i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i drank out of a bidet.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
