I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
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