I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
