from now on my penis is your penis
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
