all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
