careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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