i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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