I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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