did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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