guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
