I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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