dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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