When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
