I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize