I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
