someone get that fucking seahorse.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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