I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
