its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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