First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Text me some of your sweat
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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