If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize