Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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