Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
