I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
