You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
