I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
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I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
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How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize