Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
