I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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