i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
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No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
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Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize