Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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